How to Know if You Are a Real New Yorker (Part 1):

- You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan.

- You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

- You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

- Hookers and the homeless are invisible.

- The subway makes sense.

- You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

- You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple".

- The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

- You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard.

- You consider Westchester "upstate".

- You think Central Park is "nature."

- You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking.

- You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."

- You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times.

- You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.S. pay in rent.

- You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went away to camp as a kid.

- You go to dinner at 9 and head out to the clubs when most Americans are heading to bed.

- Your closet is filled with black clothes.

- You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since the 80s, and when you did, it terrified you.

- You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents.

- You take fashion seriously.

- Being truly alone makes you nervous.

- You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.